Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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