so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
