Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
