just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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