Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize