Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
