how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
