So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
