i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
