And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
