So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
