It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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