Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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