Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
