this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
that is very illegal...i love you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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