wat bout pragnant strippers??
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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