Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
And then he peed in my hair
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