All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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