i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
