you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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