Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
