Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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