So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
