I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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