Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize