A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You pole danced in your parka.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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