this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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