...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
