she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
