I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
