life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
