I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I puked a lego.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
