i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
God I need to hump something, right now.
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