he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
