just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
