Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
