your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
