i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
