I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize