New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
