I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
