yo everyone went to the hospital last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
