Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
