I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
