So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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