i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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