id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
