I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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Are we still banned from the library?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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