matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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