i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
