Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
