Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
