I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize