i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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