you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
