Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
