What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
