STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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