No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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