when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
