worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
