She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
