It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
