There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
