"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
