I just cut my nipple shaving
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
