doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
